Inappropriate Laughter

On Thursday, I had a post in mind for that day, but life created something else to share— many instances of INAPPROPRIATE laughter, which I had to stop and write about! 

On Thursday morning, getting ready for school, my almost five year old was making VERY LOUD unpleasant sounds in the bathroom. I was trying my hardest to prolong responding to him letting him try to sort out his own issues first. But the sounds wouldn’t stop! After waiting as long as possible, I asked what was going on. It was a problem worthy of compassion, indeed, yet any solution was very much out of my power! I consoled him and went back to my breakfast. The sounds CONTINUED. My husband, who rarely breaks his morning routine, poked his head out from the bedroom wanting to know what in the world was going on. I gave the briefest of recaps… we exchanged glances… you know, the kind of knowing glance that has you suddenly spitting your c-e-r-e-a-l out all over the table within seconds? Y-e-p! Then my eight-year-old son’s eyes caught mine, also having heard all of the sounds and witnessing me laugh SO inappropriately that I did indeed spit Cocoa Puffs all over his iPad. MmmHmm. Then the two of us couldn’t stop laughing. My youngest son’s situation didn’t deserve laughter, but it was just that the look on my husband’s face… sigh.

Later, I ordered a Grab ride. I waited 20 minutes longer than I had expected for it. I got in, and it reeked of cigarettes. Then the driver took the worst route possible and my 30 minute ride turned into one and a half hours in this suffocating, motion-sickness inducing, stop and go traffic. After an hour, I gave in and turned on my phone and scrolled Substack for some mental relief. There, I found a random post with a photo of an older homeless man with obviously bad hygiene to the point of there being massive skin issues. He was at the playground consoling a little girl who had an issue with bathtime. It really hit my funny bone, and I couldn’t stop laughing out loud in the taxi. I mean, how awkward to break the silence with such a loud burst!

When I arrived at the hospital for my treatment, I was nauseous from the ride and still had this weeklong headache. I was feeling quite badly. I went to the cafe hoping for a minute of my own and a banana. They didn’t sell any fruit. I resigned and went to the treatment area to check in. Once I got my bed, I was really feeling terrible. I was overstimulated by the bright lights, annoyed at the guy in the next bed who wouldn’t stop talking on the phone, feeling dirty from the taxi, so tired because I slept poorly, just not really wanting to be there, and still carrying other stress. I was desperate for a dark cave to reset. I pulled the covers over my head. 

Then, I remembered that I had sent myself a very funny MBTI video. I went and rewatched it and it was indeed still hilarious! But then, as I was reading the comment section, every comment was so terribly funny and true! Humor was stacked up like the last 30 seconds of a Jenga game. This laughter toppled out of me. (This was the taxi situation on steroids with 3 or four others in the room as well. And WAY funnier content than the first meme! Help!) When I get going, I get going. I’m talking messy- shrieking screams, snorting, the whole bit (I blame my mother and my aunt for setting such an example). I excused myself to the bathroom hoping for anything (new scenery, sound barriers-yes, please!) to taper this. People were passing me in the hallway as I was laughing out loud to myself. I wonder what went through their minds?! I know what went through mine!

The bathroom is inside of a changing room. There was already a woman in there changing! Ug! Seriously?! I was a scuttling creature looking for a hiding place- people weren’t allowed in this quest, didn’t they know that?! I locked myself in the single stahl bathroom. Imagine, umm or don’t imagine, I am sitting on the toilet, peeing, and was totally holding my breathe because I felt like a volcano with another giant shriek of laughter ready to spill out. There’s a giant mirror in there. As I was drying my hands, I was looking at myself watching this whole strange phenomenon play out. I was standing doubled over. I was breathless. Holding the counter. Mouth wide open straining trying to quiet myself from the funniest thing ever. And do you know what else was funny? The fact that, most likely, this wouldn’t be funny to anyone else if I explained it! When I laugh like this, it is with other people! And not that often. Definitely not ALONE and for SO LONG! Golly. The fact that I SHOULDN’T be noisy in the hospital just made it all the worse, all the more tempting, I guess. I tried so hard to keep it to, like, say, a medium-level of noise (since silent wasn’t within my current capabilities)… but the lady on the other side of the door was probably hearing all these gasps and shrieks and weird sounds wondering if I was laughing or crying… oh my. I was half expecting a nurse to come and check on me. Or someone to call out for me to pull that emergency help string.

I knew I didn’t have long. This was a last dash before the doctor would come. I headed back to my bed and told God I don’t want to disrespect my doctor, but if you don’t help me pull myself together, I’m in trouble! There’s no way I can have a conversation right now, let alone get an IV put in. It wasn’t long. There he was. The moment I saw his face, I did not spew laughter in his face like I feared I might. No, wow, it all just stopped. Cryogenic laughter frozen in the tank. When he was done, it all came back to life! I couldn’t believe it! Just when I thought I had truly settled down. Nope!

For the next two hours, I would frequently just pop out these loud chuckles. They wouldn’t stay in! There were curtains between the patients, but it was a very small room! I decided, well, if I can’t stop the giggles, I am going to embrace this and write about it. Maybe having to focus will calm this down? So I did start writing. The giggles got worse because I was reliving all of the funny things, but I do think they were catching because the couple next to me had a small run at it too. What kept going through my head was, “Oh my, gosh! This is SO INAPPROPRIATE! Angela, stop!” Followed by wondering why society might not embrace good outbursts in certain environments. It also reminded me of my parents and my aunt collecting my grandma’s urn while in a fit of laughter. They had the the guy stumped. Can I blame it on the genes? 

It also reminded me of a few weeks back when a friend and I TOTALLY lost it in laughter for like ten minutes solid plus little giggles for the next hour. And do you know what she said that tipped us over? (Side note: We both deal with chronic autoimmune diseases and were in such a heavy dark conversation) She said, “You know sometimes God jokes with me and says that I’m not gonna die at a normal age, but He’s gonna make me live over a hundred!” My mouth dropped wide open, my eyes got huge, and I said, “NOOOOOOO… NOOOOOO… He didn’t say that?!”- as in, what a horrible, awful, inappropriate thing to say…that is true torture to its finest. At that, we both cracked into joy because we both understood. That is some seriously dark humor there, but, hey- life is what it is! 

I think the word, that was in my mind the longest through all of the time I spent trying to self-contain my laughter, would be: INAPPROPRIATE! Inappropriate to laugh in the midst of my son’s struggles, or to break silence in a taxi or in the small shared space of a hospital room. But it is just the little things that tip you over into joy sometimes. I told my mom about it as I was laughing. She said it was God’s gift to me to de-stress. I agree!